journal entry with thoughts about Black women’s memoirs/stories and our responses to them
11 december 2022 | 11:40 a.m.
a few weeks ago, i saw a tiktok of this Black woman talking about michelle obama’s new memoir and how they didn’t like it. her reasoning was something to the extent of: michelle’s life was pretty “safe”, she never had real traumatic events/she lived her life on the safe side (i.e., got god grades, went to good schools, married well, etc.). and in the comments, a lot of people (other Black women) were agreeing and comparing her story to viola davis’s memoir. basically saying she went through so much so that’s why they could appreciate/respect her story so much.
at the time i hadn’t read michelle’s new book or viola’s memoir, but i had read becoming. i really didn’t agree with what they were saying because i had very different thoughts about becoming & michelle’s story.
well i just got finding me on audible and started listening to it and remembered that tiktok. something i thought of as i was listening is how much we expect Black women to be victims of overt/violent racism in order for our stories to be respected and revered. like why does listening to a woman little girl endure racial and gendered trauma make us gain more respect for viola and/or her story.
it also ignores the fact that michelle’s story is still rooted in racism/sexism/capitalism/anti-Blackness/etc. but because it didn’t manifest in the way(s) we are conditioned to consume Black women’s stories, its not as potent. it’s very clear that their stories are different, but they both are happening at the same moment in time. because of course going up as a Black girl in rhode island will be different than growing up as a Black girl in chicago in the 60s/70s. i just wish we’d be a lot more careful about the stories we wish to highlight and deem worthy of Black women’s approval. we are policed enough by everyone else, i’d rather we not do it to each other.
granted michelle and viola are both widely respected individuals in this country and abroad, but there can be so much damage from the way we choose to speak on the stories of other Black women. i want more for us than to only believe that those of us who survive and endure trauma are the only ones deserving of our respect.
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